What makes connection in a relationship so difficult? How can a couple who have been together for a long time, still feel as though they hardly know each other?
Consider whether any of these statements reflect your experience with your partner:
- I sometimes get ignored when I need attention the most.
- I get angry and upset when I don’t get the attention I need from my partner.
- I often find myself becoming irritable with my partner.
- I often feel irritated that my partner isn’t on my side.
- I have trouble getting my partner to listen or respond to me.
Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) our Counsellors work in depth with couples to identify areas in which couples get stuck in destructive cycles in relationships, confront destructive patterns of relating, or “unlearn” what has kept couples lonely and isolated from one another.
Contrary to popular opinion, marital therapy based on active listening (“talk therapy”) and conflict resolution alone is surprisingly ineffective. Using emotion-focused couples therapy CPT employs counselling using interventions that repair, build and sustain lasting relationships.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy(EFT)?
Formulated by Drs Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg in early 1980 Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a short-term 8-30session structured approach of working that has been proven to work well for any type of couple including distressed partners suffering from disorders such as depression, post traumatic stress disorders and chronic illness.
Sue Johnson has further developed the model, adding attachment theory to further understand what is happening in couple relationships and to guide therapists in helping them.
- 70-75% of couples reach recovery in 12-15 sessions
- 90% of couples show significant improvement in that time frame
Strengths of Emotionally Focused Therapy
- EFT is based on clear, explicit conceptualizations of marital distress and adult love. These conceptualizations are supported by empirical research on the nature of marital distress and adult attachment.
- EFT is collaborative and respectful of clients combining experiential Rogerian techniques with structural systemic interventions.
- Change strategies and interventions are specified.
- Key moves and moments in the change process have been mapped into nine steps and three change events.
- EFT has been validated by over 20 years of empirical research. There is also research on the change processes and predictors of success.
Goals of Emotionally Focused Therapy
- To expand and re-organize key emotional responses – the music of the attachment dance.
- To create a shift in partners’ interactional positions and initiate new cycles of interaction.
- To foster the creation of a secure bond between partners.
More on EFT from Dr Sue Johnson
Recommended reading: Hold me tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime of love, by Dr Sue Johnson
Contact Us for further information.
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